that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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