Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
