I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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