I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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