I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
