I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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