woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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