so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
