Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Did I show you my penis last night?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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