I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
this will be a night to untag.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
