R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
