i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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