Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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