Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Dignity is for republicans.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
