Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
