i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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