You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
