Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
