I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
