Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
