Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
