If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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