Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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