I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
