Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
