I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
