I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
