do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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