How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Terrible idea I love it
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
