Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
