I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
