it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
