That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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