It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
