the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
