what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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