I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
