We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize