Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
