I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
