Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
