In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
