Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
