New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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