Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
whose parrot is this?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
