Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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