I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize