if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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