he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
