Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If that was your dad, he is hot
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
