Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
