True but thats because hes a fetus.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
