You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
