JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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