My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
