tell your sister to shave her snatch
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
