I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If I die, sorry about rent.
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