She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize