I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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