he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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