Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
