He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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