can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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