Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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