There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
