How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
